I met my first love a few months shy of my 19th birthday — I wouldnâ€™t say it was love at first sight, but we grew into it so quickly it may as well have been. The entire concept may seem superficial to some, but we had so much in common that we didnâ€™t dare question it. That was until strangers at parties and salespeople in retail stores started mistaking us for siblings. Twins, even. Gross!
This realization lead me to begin noticing other couples who share similar features. Incest aside, homogamy is actually pretty prominent in the animal world and begs to question whether or not it applies to humans. Buzzfeed, Siblings or Dating and the viral Tumblr blog Boyfriend Twin have covered the phenomenon. A couple of years ago, a dating website even used a facial recognition software to identify potential partners based on physical similarities. Both intrigued and appalled, I wondered: Is dating yourself a thing? And if so, why?!
Freudâ€™s Oedipus complex is one explanation. In an attempt to complete oneself by recreating unconscious parent relationship traumas in oneâ€™s childhood, people are drawn to those who look (and act) like their mothers or fathers (â€œOedipus complexâ€). Since we probably look like our parents and our parents may look like our lovers, thereâ€™s a good chance weâ€™re only trying to fill our individual existential voids.
The other theory is simple: weâ€™re just obsessed with ourselves.
In a day and age where the selfie triumphs and advertising our every thought on Twitter is the norm, narcissism may be leading us to select partners based on what we see in a mirror. These similarities create feelings of familiarity and therefore trust (Baer) â€” and we all know how important trust is in an intimate relationship. Plus, thereâ€™s nothing wrong with self-love, am I right?
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Baer, Drake. â€œScience Says Youâ€™re Probably Attracted to People Who Look like Your Parents.â€ Business Insider. Business Insider, Inc, 5 Feb. 2015. Web. 10 Nov. 2015.
â€œOedipus complexâ€. EncyclopÃ¦dia Britannica Online.
EncyclopÃ¦dia Britannica Inc., 2015. Web. 10 Nov. 2015 < http://www.britannica.com/topic/Oedipus-complex >